Here are my notes for Chapter 12:
1. What have I found helpful/insightful in this chapter?
This chapter is very similar to chapter 11, about dealing with confrontation and rebuking, but this has more to do with how to apply in to our ministries.
How do you confront someone like the example of Dan and Jim?
Tripp says “How we live with one another sets the stage through the way we speak to each other”
The way we live our lives is an example of how we communicate to people what we are like. We might set the agenda on what we speak about to someone but “The Lord has his own agenda which is so much bigger and better than ours.” The Lord is with us in the confrontation. He deliberately sets the encounters we have. “He displays his glory by transforming the thoughts and intentions of our hearts”. God is in complete control in what we say and do but Tripp gives us the warning.
“We can’t be satisfied with pleasing ourselves in what we say and do, but must ask what would please him (God)… People who approach life this way are ready to serve as God’s instruments of change”.
We must always think “What satisfies God?” We can fall into the trap of thinking that the person who is in need, is trying to reach your own personal targets, when they should be aiming to glorify God.
The 4 step frame of the confrontation process is very helpful:
1. Consideration: What does this person need to see that he does not see, and how do I help him? There are 5 questions that help ask considerate questions 1. What was going on? 2. What were you thinking and feeling as it was going on? 3. What did you do in response? 4 Why did you do it? What were you seeking to accomplish? 5. What was the result? Tripp says “When you encourage this kind of change you are doing the work of an ambassador = you are incarnating the presence of the Messiah who gives sight to those in spiritual darkness.”
2. Confession: Sinners find confession hard (Everyone). We need to encourage them to speak humbly and lead them to prayer and seek God’s forgiveness and other people’s.
We as counsellors need to confess our sins in our own hearts at the same time because we are dealing with sin and we can be infected quite easily.
3. Commitment. Don’t Soften God’s call for concrete commitments of the heart and life. God’s is unwilling to settle for anything less than our hearts.
2. How will what I’ve read apply to my preaching ministry or counselling?
I was very moved by the example Tripp gave about asking a man who had anger problems to keep a journal of his life. Then when they met up, Tripp got him to read back his journal, and the man said in tears “The man who wrote this journal is a very angry person!” I would like to use this in my ministry when I will encounter people in a situation where there is something wrong with them I their lives. I will try to not be a person who stands out of someone’s confession, but to be willing confess my sins with those who find it hard to. This chapter really highlights that we are all sinners, but we are saved by grace. I would like to use all the above questions practically and part of my pastoral set up when talking to someone.
3. Next time we meet I would like to discuss…
How can you be considerate and committed to someone who is not listening to anything you say?